Dear Dumb Diary Series

Dumbness is a Dish Best Served Cold

Life at Mackerel Middle School is as dumb as ever -- but Jamie Kelly may have finally found the key to fame, fortune, and fabulousness. Together with Isabella and Angeline, she's come up with a moneymaking idea, and it has to do with food. Everyone likes food! They're going to be rich!

The only problem? They have to come up with something that people actually want to eat.

Jamie has some sophisticated thoughts on food, like, "She was manipulating us like dough. Like the sweet, delicious dough that we are. And she was baking us into the type of delicious cookies you can only get from dough like us. And she was putting sprinkles of us on top of us, and -- forget it. I'm hungry. I want some cookies."

This is sure to go well.

Dear Dumb Diary Series

Dear Dumb Diary #3: Am I the Princess or the Frog

Jamie is crushing on Hudson. Someone too-gross-to-be- named is crushing on Jamie. And Hudson is crushing on . . . Princess Turd of Turdsylvania (a.k.a. The Prettiest Girl in the World).

Middle school may be grim, but it's no fairy tale. And crazy doesn't even begin to cover it.

Dear Dumb Diary Series

Dear Dumb Diary #4: Never Do Anything, Ever

Her best friend's a backstabber. Her worst enemy is a sweetheart. And her dog is just waiting for the right moment to seek his revenge. Why should Jamie even bother going to school? Why not? After a run-in with Mega-Popular Angeline, aka Pure Evil, Jamie reforms her selfish ways & becomes the decent human being she never thought she could be. But she quickly realizes that helping others kind of stinks. Is someone trying to thwart her attempts at irresistible inner beauty? Or will Jamie finally achieve the "I'm an angel" glow she knows will make Hudson Rivers fall madly in love w/ her?

Dear Dumb Diary Series

Dear Dumb Diary #5: Can Adults Become Human

Dear Dumb Diary,

My social studies teacher, Mr. VanDoy, never smiles. I know that's hard to believe, because everybody smiles about something, right?

Isabella smiles when her brothers get in trouble. Angeline smiles when she thinks about how much prettier she is than, like, a waterfall or a unicorn. I smile when I think about a unicorn kicking Angeline over a waterfall. But Mr. VanDoy doesn't smile at all. I wonder if when you become an adult, you can lose your sense of humor the way you lose your teeth or hair or fashion sense.

Dear Dumb Diary Series

Dear Dumb Diary #6: The Problem With Here Is That It's Where I'm From

There's a new girl in at Mackerel Middle School.

Colette is friendly, fabulous, smart, totally talented, and an all-around amazing individual. She is more brilliantly diabolical than Isabella, as blindly loyal as Stinker, and even harder-to-resist than Angeline. It's enough to make Jamie throw up a little. And Jamie just can't help but wonder: Is it humanly possible for a girl to be more perfectly perfect than the most perfect girl in the world?

I Survived Series

I Survived the Eruption of Mount St. Helens, 1980

Eleven-year-old Jessie Marlowe has grown up with the beautiful Mount St. Helens always in the background. She's hiked its winding trails, dived into its cold lakes, and fished for trout in its streams. Just looking at Mount St. Helens out her window made Jess feel calm, like it was watching over her somehow. Of course, she knew the mountain was a volcano...but not the active kind, not a volcano that could destroy and kill!

Then Mount St. Helens explodes with unimaginable fury. Jess suddenly finds herself in the middle of the deadliest and most destructive volcanic event in U.S. history. Ash and rock are spewing everywhere. Can Jess escape in time?

The newest book in the I Survived series will take readers into one of the most environmentally devastating events in recent U.S. history.

The Bad Guys Series

Bad Guys in the Baddest Day Ever, The

"I wish I'd had these books as a kid. Hilarious!" -- Dav Pilkey, creator of Captain Underpants and Dog Man

They may look like Bad Guys, but these wannabe heroes are doing good deeds... whether you like it or not! This New York Times bestselling illustrated series is perfect for fans of Dog Man and Captain Underpants.

All hail Crown Prince Marmalade! Surrender to his evil magnificence! Kneel before his butt-handed glory! Or...like...DON'T! The Bad Guys and even Badder Girls might have been knocked down, but does that mean they'll stay down? No way, chicos! Pull on your party pants-it's the ultimate battle between Bad and BAAAAAAD!

I Survived the Attack of the Grizzlies, 1967

No grizzly has ever killed a human in Glacier before . . . until tonight. Eleven-year-old Melody Vega and her family come to Glacier National Park every year, and it's always been a place where she can forget her troubles. But this year is different. With Mom gone, every moment in the park is a heartbreaking reminder of the past.

Then Mel comes face-to-face with the mighty grizzly. Now her only thought is one of survival. Mel will soon be a part of one of the most tragic seasons in the history of America's national parks - a summer of terror that will forever change ideas about how grizzlies and humans can exist together in the wild.

Whatever After #1: Fairest of All

Dear Dumb Diary Year Two Series

Dear Dumb Diary Year Two #3: Nobody's Perfect. I'm As Close As It Gets.

The bestselling Dear Dumb Diary series is a hilarious hit! Now Jamie Kelly's diaries have a fresh look and a fun twist. Dear Dumb Diary Year Two is still laugh-out-loud funny -- but everything is another year dumber!

As Jamie continues to grapple with middle school's Big Questions, she drops even more snarky gems of wisdom like, "Everybody knows that the more you love somebody, the less you try to look nice for them," and "People don't appreciate how much willpower it takes to do the wrong thing."

(But Jamie STILL has no idea that anybody is reading her diary. So please, please, please don't tell her.)

I Survived Series

I Survived the Destruction of Pompeii, AD 79

No one in the bustling city of Pompeii worries when the ground trembles beneath their feet. The beast under the mountain Vesuvius, high above the city, wakes up angry sometimes -- and always goes back to sleep.

But Marcus is afraid. He knows something is terribly wrong -- and his father, who trusts science more than mythical beasts, agrees. When Vesuvius explodes into a cloud of fiery ash and rocks fall from the sky like rain, will they have time to escape -- and survive the epic destruction of Pompeii?

Dear Dumb Diary Year Two Series

Dear Dumb Diary Year Two #5: You Can Bet On That

Jamie, Isabella, and Angeline have known each other for a long time. They've even become friends -- whether Jamie likes it or not. But when the trio starts a friendly competition, all bets are off. The loser will be treated to a game of Dare or Worse Dare... with Isabella. (And Jamie's pretty sure that's like having a banana-peeling contest with a starving monkey. The monkey always wins.)

What could go wrong? Probably everything. And it's probably all that blondwad Angeline's fault. Probably.

Jamie still has no idea that anyone is reading her diary, so please, please, please don't tell her. And definitely don't tell her that she's the star of her very own Dear Dumb Diary movie, available on DVD. (Her glamorous ego might not be able to handle it.)

Dear Dumb Diary Year Two Series

Dear Dumb Diary Year Two #6: Live Each Day to the Dumbest

It's not easy being a middle-schooler, and nobody knows that better than Jamie Kelly. There are surprises around every corner: some good, some bad, all dumb. But when Jamie inherits a trunk of her grandmother's things, she never expects to find the biggest surprise of all -- Grandma's diary.

Violating the privacy of a diary is something Jamie would never do . . . unless she was absolutely certain that she wanted to do it.

And when she does, she learns that, deep down, everyone is exactly the same. Dumb.

Jamie still has no idea that anyone is reading her diary, so please, please, please don't tell her. And definitely don't tell her that she's the star of her very own Dear Dumb Diary movie, available on DVD. (Her glamorous ego might not be able to handle it.)